Today's Weather - Heat Stroke

Hey Y'all,

Today the National Weather Service issued one of it's worst types of warnings. Worse than Flood Warning, worse than Tornado Warning, worse than Severe Thunderstorm Warning, even worse than a Hurricane Warning, it's the dreaded Heat Advisory.

Heat advisories are the worst because the kind of heat they are predicting can cause death in most places. Back in the 70's, hundreds of people died over one weekend in Chicago. It's heat you can't get away from. It assaults you, protecting it's turf, taking offense at your intrusion into it's territory the moment you step out into it like a street thug with nothing better to do. It's the kind of heat that, while not recommended for sanitary reasons, one could fry an egg on any flat surface. Ants will walk around giving the finger thinking someone is wielding a magnifying glass over their beady little sugar-sucking heads.

A brief foray out on to the back porch to take a leak will cause the average person to pass out. It's the kind of oppressive heat that makes your lungs feel like you've just sucked in a bucket of hot beach sand. My buddy Ryan "Hushpuppy" Smith says, "It's the kind of heat that makes your underwear stick to you like a clammy, clingy ex-wife who refuses to move on."

Here in the South, heat advisories are often taken in stride by those born to Southern ways. You'll hear the comment, "It's gonna be a mite hot today." and people will go about their business as though the heat were a minor annoyance. They'll take precautions like drinking more water and finding shade more often, but it's not going to stop the work from getting done.

It's the transplanted Yankees that will whine, complain and hand out warnings and advice on how to avoid the heat and the complications of dehydration or heat stroke. They'll drone on and on about how dangerous the heat is, but will be the first to get upset if the landscaper takes longer than they should to get the lawn done. In three months they'll be whining about frost advisories and talking about how to prevent damage to your fragile plants and what new nogs are in fashion. They should have stayed up north.

This is also the kind of heat that makes the lake warmer, the weeds grow faster and the bugs bigger. To complicate matters, the humidity levels raise to the point of attempting to live under water. Mosquitoes just throw on some swim fins and a snorkel and go off after prey like tiny, blood sucking torpedoes. Even the ticks and chiggers are airborne during this kind of heat hoping to hitch a ride into cooler environs.

I am not quite acclimated to this kind of heat yet, so I am going to lay low and stay inside where the air conditioner is finally going to earn it's keep. (I may give it a hug at the end of the day.) It's barely climbed into the 90's since we got here. Today will be the first 100+ day, but I am sure it won't be the last, for this is the South. This is the land with a long and storied history of oppressive weather. A land where it could be 105 today, then 80 and torrential downpours the next. (One can only hope..)

It's a good day for napping. I may do it the whole day and hope tomorrow is a little cooler. I gotta go. There's a kudzu vine knocking at the door seeking shelter.